Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize