I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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