maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Quick, to the slutcave!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Randomize
