grandma shit on top of the toilet
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
