I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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