i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize