a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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