pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
