hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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