That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
