Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Acid is not a monday night drug
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
