dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
