he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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