You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
