I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
