I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
