We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
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If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
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Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body