Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable

  (818): View more from California

  Freshman in high school? Just your type

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  (408): My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable (818): Freshman in high school? Just your type http://tfl.nu/e4aq
  Replies (2) Good night (1541) Bad night (529)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts

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  (248): I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts http://tfl.nu/hn1f
  Replies (7) Good night (2605) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota

  (415): View more from California

  everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy

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  (415): I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota (415): everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy http://tfl.nu/10ak
  Replies (152) Good night (671) Bad night (3312)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy

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  (352): I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy http://tfl.nu/uxjr
  Replies (18) Good night (4057) Bad night (552) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it

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  (720): its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it http://tfl.nu/rdim
  Replies (15) Good night (1044) Bad night (4617) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...

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  (425): So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod... http://tfl.nu/hp9q
  Replies (65) Good night (7356) Bad night (1208)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.

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  (225): Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING. http://tfl.nu/893j
  Replies (9) Good night (5571) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line

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  (203): Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line http://tfl.nu/4rr4
  Replies (11) Good night (1457) Bad night (4985) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came

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  (412): Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came http://tfl.nu/do8g
  Replies (40) Good night (2550) Bad night (6437) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?

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  (803): Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything? http://tfl.nu/hmy2
  Replies (7) Good night (808) Bad night (4374) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.

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  (908): I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway. http://tfl.nu/lu4f
  Replies (14) Good night (1134) Bad night (2550) Order T-Shirt
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  (786): View more from Florida

  i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"

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  (786): i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy" http://tfl.nu/v0t3
  Replies (6) Good night (4056) Bad night (865) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be

  (254): View more from Texas

  Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54

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  (254): Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be (254): Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54 http://tfl.nu/ylh4
  Replies (5) Good night (1639) Bad night (481)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Not okay.

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  (503): Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car! (503): Not okay. http://tfl.nu/moe1
  Replies (7) Good night (426) Bad night (1940)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.

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  (314): If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life. http://tfl.nu/s141
  Replies (3) Good night (681) Bad night (250) Order T-Shirt

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