and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet