dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
