i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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