wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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