no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
