just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
