That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
