Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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