So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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