i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
