I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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