never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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