Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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