How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
