I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
