Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
