Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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