and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
