the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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