I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
