White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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