You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she was so not down for the gang bang
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Randomize
