ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
