so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
soo... how was my night?
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