Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
