I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize