oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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