shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
