I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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