Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
