she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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