I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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