meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just invented taco cereal.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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