kristin has been a bad kristin
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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