Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
