just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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