i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
