i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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