So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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