; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
