So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
