I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
