none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
