Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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