Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I've blown a few things in my day
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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