I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
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sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
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Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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