is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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