he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
