I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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