no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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