it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
