so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
