if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
