I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
