Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
