I think im going to throw up on grandma
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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