bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
