JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
