my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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